EDI Rider

While they are trying to get the Primarch to us, the turians need help defending an airfield. The three of us head over to it and they tell me to get on a turret and go to town. But this turret can fuuuuuuck off. I was not meant to fire lots of bullets really fast. I was meant to fire one huge gun really slowly and be invisible. I CAN’T BE INVISIBLE ON THIS TURRET.

A giant fucking reaper-fied krogan with a turian head attacks us and after killing it, we decide we can’t wait around for someone else to bring us the Primarch. We need to go get him ourselves, and start walking towards his position. Thus began my new mission…

Priority: Stare at Garrus’s Ass While He Leads Us Somewhere

We walk past some soldiers and check that they’re okay, and finally see the area where Victus is at but reapers are attacking it. FUCK! We need to get in there and get Victus out fast, I can’t spend what’s left of my life just hunting down new Primarchs every 20 minutes.

We finally get to Victus and tell him of his upgraded status. He’s a little shocked but takes a few minutes to say goodbye to his men while I take a few minutes to talk to Garrus. Victus is ready to leave and we all climb aboard the Normandy.

On the ship Victus says he can get me the turian help I need, if I can get him the krogan help the turians need. Goddammit, this is just a daisy chain of favors I gotta fucking run here.

Meanwhile the asari councilor tells me they won’t be coming to our summit. Because I don’t know, they suck or something. I guess they don’t actually want to defeat the reapers all that badly.

After finishing that conversation, I get about 10 feet from the room before finding out that Hackett also wants to talk to me on vidcomm, godDAMMIT just send me an email or something, I wanna go talk to Garrus.

On my way out of the war room, I check in with Victus quick who says Garrus told him he was gonna be busy calibrating. FUCKNUTS! I really gotta get down to the main battery before he gets all caught up in that!

I head to the CIC when all of a sudden the lights start flickering again. Joker tells me EDI is offline and I need to get down to the AI Core because I will know how to fix this somehow! Unless I can fix it by matching up four different symbols on a microchip-y thing, or maybe matching code to other code the most I’m gonna do is stand there, but okay. Really all my tech skills come down to my matching abilities.

Engineer Adams is waiting outside the AI Core with some other dude and a fire extinguisher. We open the door and spray down some spots of flame. I hope that my sweet hoodie doesn’t get any burns on it, when out from the fire emerges that robot we picked up on Mars. AND EDI’S VOICE COMING OUT OF IT.


She explains that while trying to extract the information from the robot some stuff something something (I got distracted here, wasn’t this body all charred up before? did someone come in and buff you?) And now she’s in the robot body! Hurrah!

EDI explains that she can come with me on missions and I ask her to run a bunch of tests on the body first to make sure it’s not gonna choke a crew member out or anything. She pauses for a second and then says the tests are complete.

Um yeah…

Not to be a pessimist, or to doubt you or anything EDI, but can you find some MORE tests then? And also run them? When you do it that fast, I can’t help but think you’re just fucking with me, honestly.

She heads upstairs and states that Joker will want to see the new body. Oh yes, he will.

And as much I want to watch this conversation happen, I…am already on deck three now.




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