Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves

While we’re already at Illium, I decide to help Miranda with her problem too. I grab uh, yeah, Garrus again and we go find Miranda’s contact.

Miranda tells me she needs help relocating her twin sister because her evil crazy father is trying to get to her. I imagine Miranda’s father as a cartoonish villain, with a mustache, overly elaborate clothes, and a sinister grin. Ooh he’s so evil, I just wanna…ooooooooooh.

We meet the contact and now a new name, Niket pops up. Miranda says he’s a good friend that she trusts a lot. Okay, that’s uh great I guess but can we keep the emergence of new information like this to a minimum? I hate having to do all this processing when I’m all set on shooty shooty gun mode. 

We go uh, god somewhere, I don’t think I paid any attention during this drive. I was really way too busy staring out the window to notice where we were going or why. Whatever, ain’t my sister.

We’re at a sort of warehouse place and some Eclipse mercs come out and try to act super tough at me and Miranda. And then oh god, here’s new info again. Turns out the twin is like several years younger than Miranda. Okaaaaaay, how old is she now? 19? All right, so, it’s kinda stupid to give her back to her father now. Then I find that the sister was a baby when Miranda stole her. Sure. Makes sense. I am still solidly on Miranda’s side in this because, as we noted earlier, her father is super evil.

Everyone else though seems to think that stealing a baby is a way bigger deal than I do, and that I should be yelling or scolding Miranda for doing it. But I don’t care! Babies are perfect for stealing! They can’t fight you and they won’t remember it later! They fit in a carry on! Why is this baby stealing so horrible? 

I get sick of this merc talking and me and my crew  make with bullet shooting. As we make our way through a bunch of shipping areas and transport hubs or whatever, we keep hearing blips over the radio about Niket helping the mercs. Miranda’s got some serious denial going on, but I let it go. I’m sure it’ll all work out. 

We get to an elevator and take it up to the a floor where another Eclipse merc and Niket are waiting. And Niket is definitely helping them. Miranda flips out at him and then he flips out her. First for the baby stealing thing. Dude, we went over this. And then because Miranda’s sister would be better off with her father because he is rich. I’m hella confused because Miranda said this dude was her friend. I’ve known her for like a week and I don’t like her father. Did she never tell him that he was evil? How is being with an evil dude better just because he’s rich? Oh he gave you money and this is just pathetic justification. I get it. 

Miranda tries to shoot him but I stop her because I don’t need that weepy train all over my ship for the next 2 weeks. I’m sure every time I swung by her office it’d be “boo hoo hoo, I shot my best friend, can I hug YOU Shepard? Do you wanna come over for makeovers and girl talk, Shepard? Waaaaaah.” 

The eclipse merc is obviously easily bored by emotions and shoots Niket in the back anyways, so now we’s gots a fight on our hands. These Eclipse bastards I swear to god go down easier every time though, so we’re done quick. And then we go somewhere else to check on Miranda’s sister, who is safe and sound and I make Miranda go talk to her.

I want some alone time with Garrus anyways. 

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