Sit Broker, Sit. Good Yahg.

Having found the location of the Shadow Broker’s base, we head right there. It is some fucked up ship flying around in the middle of a crazy ass lightning storm and we’re gonna run around outside of it and try to find a way in. Liara comments about making the mistake of looking down. I run to the edge of the ship. What? What about it? Looks cool. It’s not like I can jump. Maybe if there was something to crouch behind first…

We eventually make it to a hatch, that Liara starts hacking. It’s taking some time to work though, and we need to keep these Shadow Broker agents off us in the meantime. Finally the thing opens the door and we rush inside. Where there are more agents. I have no idea why I even thought it might be safer INSIDE for a second. I’m ripping through these guys fast as fuck though and finally make it to the prison section, where Liara’s friend Feron is being held. And has apparently been tortured for the last two freakin’  years.

Well at least he’s a Drell so he’ll never forget this.

We can’t free him right now so we continue through the ship to the Shadow Broker’s um, office I guess. He is a creepy looking monster, with creepy looking teeth around the most confusing mouth sitting at a nice desk with a nice suit on. It’s kinda weird. Liara says he is a “yahg.” He says some snooty stuff to me, and Liara says some snooty stuff back while I make noises like “OOOOOOH SNAP.” Then he picks up his desk and smashes it. He must figure he can get a new desk. The impact knocks Garrus out, but me and Liara seem mostly unscathed and apparently decided to take this moment to spoon a little bit. Jesus, Shepard, get up.

We hopelessly fight the broker for a bit, while Liara gets a plan to shatter his lightning ceiling down on top of him or something. I work him into position and POW, HE EXPLODES INTO FUCKING NOTHINGNESS. GOOD FUCKING LORD.

Garrus groggily sits up and I run over to him. Garrus. Were you just pretending to be unconscious so you wouldn’t have to do anything? You scamp.

Suddenly a bunch of the Shadow Broker’s contacts start checking in to see what the problem is. Liara sends them a message that everything is fine, as Feron, having escaped finally charges into the room, guns hot.

For a second I thought this was going to be an awkward moment of Feron thinking Liara’s been the Shadow Broker this whole time and has been playing an elaborate trick on him, but alas.

Liara explains that she’ll be the new Shadow Broker now. Works for me. We chat for a bit, and I head back to the Normandy to change into my civvies. I immediately return to the Broker ship to look at stuff. There’s files on my crewmates. And things to invest my credits in and…A NEW MODEL SHIP! Liara, I’m taking this! I like model ships more than you anyways.

I explore a bit more and find a terminal with videos from around the galaxy. Stuff from the Citadel, Omega, Tuchunka, Illium…everywhere. And um, is that Jacob doing situps? Wait wait wait, this is on the Normandy. What the. LIARA HOW MANY CAMERAS DO YOU HAVE ON THE NORMANDY?

Do you uh

have one in my cabin?

I would prefer you not. Or um, if you do, I want those tapes.

I invite Liara to hang out on the Normandy for a bit to take a tour and see my ship collection and whatnot. In my cabin, I pour two glasses of wine. She enters and has a gift for me: my old dog tags. Oh neat, my stuff. I show her the ships, and my fish, and here’s my space hamster. And a picture of you that I’ve put down instead of just putting away which would make sense, or changing it to Garrus, which would be hot. We talk for a bit and she gives me a hug and leaves. Both glasses of wine still sit on my table.

I drink them both and walk over to my intercom.

“INVITE GARRUS UP.”

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