Finally I am down to one last person that needs me to help them: Zaeed. We need to go..I don’t know something, refinery, Vido, whatever. I am so bad at listening to this guy talk.
We head to the planet and shoot our way through some mercs, stopping at a bridge for Zaeed to talk to me some more, and I ask him about founding the Blue Suns and getting shot in the face and stuff, but really I’m staring off behind him where Garrus has leaned against a railing as a waterfall pours down behind him and he winks at me and I absent-mindedly reply everything Zaeed is saying with “uh huh. uh huh. uh huh.”
“Shepard are you looking at something behind me?”
“What? No. I was just uh…saying we should keep moving…”
“You were making kissy faces!”
We eventually end up at the refinery door where Vido is standing on a ledge yelling down at Zaeed and having his men point guns at us. Suddenly Zaeed starts firing wildly and starts a fire and releases some valve and I’m like “UUM WHAT THE HELL?”
Okay dude. Look here’s the rule. If you’re gonna start a fire, it better to be to kill someone. And if you do decide to try that, make sure the guy you want dead actually starts on fire. And if you’re just gonna shoot like a crazy person at some magical target in the background, why don’t you just shoot Vido instead? What the fuck? Now a building is on fire and he’s not dead! If you wanted to shoot him so bad just fucking shoot him! Oh, you wanted to make sure we could get into the building? You have seen me bypass a goddamn door before right? Hack a terminal? We would get in the building.
Now
Now there’s a fire.
I punch him and we move on with this stupid mission, stupid idiot with his stupid fire starting bullshit motherfrigginreggingfriggin…
As we head inside, we find a bunch of the workers are trapped. Zaeed is like, fuck them I need to kill that guy I had a clear shot at two minutes ago. I look at him.
WELL MAYBE WE SHOULD THINK THROUGH OUR ACTIONS A LITTLE BETTER HUH MAYBE?
We head to help the workers. Thankfully all the gas valves I need to turn off aren’t blocked by fire or a fallen beam or something. Then I find the sprinkler system to put the fires out and wonder for a second why those aren’t, ya know, like automatic or something.
The workers saved, we have a shit ton of mercs to fight through while fire sprays down upon us. God this is shit.
Finally we make it out and see Vido flying away in a gunship that Zaeed angrily shoots at until his clip is empty. Then he points it at me. Uh. I JUST saw you empty that gun out, dude. Also there’s no gas valves near me, so I imagine you’re confused about how to kill me.
And if you tried, well. Garrus.
I tell him he’s a dick and then a giant beam falls on him. I ask him if he’s all right, even though I JUST SAW A GIANT BEAM FALL ON HIM. He says he’s okay, but is super pissed at me. I tell him if he’s gonna go fight collectors with me, he needs to chill the fuck out or I will just leave him under his stupid beam. He agrees and I LIFT THE BEAM OFF HIM HUUUUURRRRGH!
Oh wait it wasn’t that heavy. It was like that stuff they use to make cake decorations. No wonder it didn’t hurt.
Back to the ship guys.